Privacy policy.

Privacy Policy for Drain and Tank Solutions

Last updated: 06/07/2025

Welcome to the thrilling world of privacy policies — because nothing screams excitement like legal jargon and data collection! At Drain and Tank Solutions (aka the drain whisperers), we take your privacy as seriously as we take stubborn blockages. Which is to say: very seriously, but with a plunger in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

Who Are We?

We're Drain and Tank Solutions. We handle wastewater, septic tanks, and your data — though we promise not to mix the two.

Our HQ is located at Unit 14, Woodpecker Business Park, South Brent, TQ10 9ES, United Kingdom. If you ever feel like chatting about privacy, data, or the latest in fatberg technology, you can email us at [Insert Email Address] or ring us at +44 7746 735270. Operators may or may not be standing by, depending on the state of the drains.

What We Collect (Besides Blocked Drains)

We only collect the good stuff:

  • Personal Information: Like your name, email, phone number, and address — so we know where to go when your garden turns into a swamp.

  • Usage Data: IP address, browser info, which pages you click on — yes, even the ones you pretend not to.

Rest assured, we don't spy on you through your webcam or listen in on your conversations... unless you shout very loudly while standing next to one of our vans.

Why We Collect It (Spoiler: Not for a Secret Government Program)

We use your data to:

  • Provide quotes, schedule appointments, and generally be of service.

  • Improve our website, which is still a work in progress (like your brother-in-law's DIY patio).

  • Respond to your questions with minimal sarcasm.

  • Comply with legal obligations and appear respectable in front of regulatory bodies.

We solemnly swear not to use your email address to sign you up for cat facts — unless you specifically request it. (Seriously, we have them. They're adorable.)

Sharing is Caring (But Only When It's Appropriate)

We do not sell your data, give it away as a party favor, or trade it for donuts. We may share it with:

  • Service providers who help us run our business. These are the digital equivalent of our jet vac trucks — they keep things moving behind the scenes.

  • Law enforcement if they show up with a warrant and look serious. Or just look really intimidating.

Cookies (Sadly, Not the Chocolate Chip Kind)

Our website uses cookies — not to fatten you up, but to make your experience smoother. You can disable them in your browser, but things might look weird afterward. Like, "1999 pop-up ad" weird.

External Links: Enter at Your Own Risk

We may link to other websites. We can't control what those sites do with your data, their cookies, or their questionable design choices. Visit at your own risk and maybe wear a digital hazmat suit. And no, we don’t endorse conspiracy theories unless they involve the existence of drain gremlins.

Your Rights (Cue Dramatic Music)

Under data protection laws, you have the right to:

  • Access the information we hold about you.

  • Ask us to fix any inaccuracies.

  • Request we delete your data (unless we're legally required to keep it, like if you tried to flush a mattress down the loo).

Just send us an email. We promise not to respond in Latin. (Unless you're into that.)

Data Storage & Security (Fort Knox Has Nothing on Us)

We use modern security tools to keep your data safe. That said, no system is 100% hack-proof — so if aliens intercept our database, we’re sorry in advance. We hope they enjoy reading about your blocked soakaway.

Changes to This Policy (Because Nothing Stays the Same Forever)

We might change this privacy policy when the laws change, when our lawyers get bored, or just to mess with future readers. Check back here if you're the type of person who reads the T&Cs on your toaster.

Easter Eggs (Congratulations for Reading This Far!)

  • If you quote the phrase "I read the whole privacy policy and all I got was this lousy quote" during your service booking, you may receive a wink and a nod of eternal respect.

  • Hidden across this policy: 3 mentions of fatbergs. Why? No reason. Just drain-related flair.

Legal Translator (For the Normal People)

Lawyer Speak: "We process your personal data in accordance with applicable data protection regulations, including but not limited to the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)."

Translation: "We don't mess with your data. If we do, you're allowed to yell at us."

Lawyer Speak: "Cookies are used to optimize the user experience and tailor website content."

Translation: "Cookies help the site work better. Sadly, not edible."

Lawyer Speak: "We reserve the right to amend this policy at any time."

Translation: "We might change stuff, so check back once in a while. Or don’t. We won’t be offended."

Final Thoughts

We respect your privacy — we really do. And while we love a bit of toilet humor, your data is no laughing matter. We’ll protect it like it’s the last clean loo roll in the office.

Thanks for trusting Drain and Tank Solutions. If you made it this far, you deserve a medal. Or at least a properly working drainage system.

Contact us:

  • Email: [Insert Email Address]

  • Phone: +44 7746 735270

  • Address: Unit 14, Woodpecker Business Park, South Brent, TQ10 9ES, United Kingdom

P.S. No actual drains were harmed in the making of this privacy policy.

P.P.S. If you're still reading, you clearly take your data seriously. Or you're procrastinating something else. Either way — respect.